Dear G: Week 1

Dear G,

It's been a little over a week since we officially got to meet. I would be 39 weeks pregnant with you today and that's sort of trippy to think about. I have been putting off this letter to you for months now. Every week, I would put "write letter to baby" on my to-do list but I would always put it off because I  wasn't quite sure what I wanted to say to you, how to say it, and I thought I had time. When I first felt my water break, I was kind of upset with you. I was freaking out because I felt like it was the worst timing ever. I quickly realized that you could not have picked a more perfect time to come. There was so much love surrounding your arrival. So many people put aside their differences and came together for you baby girl. It was a surreal feeling, it still is.


I fall more and more in love with you everyday. I have got to spend 8 days showering you with kisses, holding you, and changing poopy diapers (girl, do you poop a lot). While I may be a little tired at this point, I wouldn't change any of this for the world. You make time seem so still, it's weird. I catch myself looking at you for what feels to be hours. Nothing matters at all when I am looking at you. While I want to sleep, I can't wait for you to wake up just so I can hold you and feed you. I spent months freaking out about life and having a baby. I was constantly second guessing my ability to love you but little girl the love that I have for you is...I can't even think of a word to describe it....out of this world. You are so precious. I never knew someone could be so adorable and light up everything around them. I think it's safe to say you make everyones heart melt a little when they see you.

I never knew how badly I needed to be a mom. I am so happy you choose me to be your mom. You are my miracle baby. You are so strong. You are going to be a force to be reckoned with and it makes me nervous/excited. We are going to take over the world baby girl. We are going to travel to numerous places and have tons of fun. I want you to stay my little nugget forever but at the same time I can't wait for our adventures.

I want the best for you. I promise you that I will work my butt off to give you the world. You have changed my life so drastically but I am so content. I am so grateful that I get to wake up and fall asleep next to you everyday. I cannot wait for the day I get to hear you call me Mommy. I say all of this but I lord do I not want to wish the time away. I know that I am going to blink and your are going to be an adult. I just can't. You have already grown and changed so much within this first week. I have already cried a little while looking back at pictures from your birthday.

When I look at you, I still am a little shocked that I am your mom and you are my daughter. You are all mine. I made you. You really used to live inside of me and kick me in my side all day. You are the only person who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside and that is so amazing to think about.

Here we are, a week after you were born and I still am struggling to write this letter to you. I just love you so much that it hurts. I can't wait to watch all the amazing things that you are going to do in the future. Right now, I can hold you in one hand, you have the cutest gummy smile, and loudest cry. I really am so content with life with you that it is truly leaving me speechless. Just know I will always be here baby girl. You will never have to want for a thing. Know that I am new to this mom thing and I will probably make many mistakes throughout the years but I am trying my hardest to be the best mom I can be for you.

I love you Baby G. Thank you.

xoxo, 

your mommy