Week 34

CLICK HERE TO WATCH MY VLOG FROM MY BABY SHOWER

Week 34 was absolutely amazing. Literally, it was a dream and I am so sad that it is over.

I spent the week feeling extremely anxious waiting for my baby shower. I felt like a little kid waiting for Christmas. From just a few weeks pregnant, I was already thinking about my baby shower. I am a planner so leaving it up to other people to make sure it was amazing stressed me out!!

As hard as it was, my Mom and Aunt allowed me to take the backseat on this one and planned an absolutely stunning shower. It was so beautiful. I feel like I walked around the room 100x and still did not get to take it in enough. They were really thoughtful when it came to the decorations. After 22 years of my life I found out that my Mom can make an amazing chicken salad. She likes to pretend like she doesn't know how to cook but always slips up and showcases her skills. 

It also felt really great to be around people who are excited about bringing my daughter into this world. My pregnancy has or was filled with so much negativity and harsh words. I was not sure if I made the right decision in continuing my pregnancy due to it all. The past weekend showed me that I 100% made the correct decision and my child will be so loved when she gets here. This weekend was just what I needed. An eye opening reminder of how much love and support I have surrounding me. Where one person could not step up a whole army stepped in to fill that space. I cry everytime I think about it because I am so grateful/thankful. 

I do not think that I will ever be able to say thank you enough to everyone who has been here for me throughout my journey. I do not think I will be able to thank the people who seemed to disappear throughout this journey. 

This blog post has been difficult for me to write because I do not know how to put what I am feeling into words. I feel as though saying "thank you" is not enough to express my gratitude. 

Just a big shoutout to Bambz (my mom) and Auntie for taking the time to put together such an amazing shower. I know life is busy but I am so thankful you all took charge and allowed me to just show up. I loved every bit of it. Another big shoutout to everyone who came and shared such a special day with me that I will never forget. Karron, shoutout to you because you were left to do most of the dirty work lol. 

I am getting extremely anxious for her arrival. My baby shower really left me thinking "WTF, I am actually about to be a mom?!" My aunt asked if we were all ready for this and that has sent me into somewhat of a pain mode. I have obviously known for quite awhile now that I am going to be a mom but it wasn't until I started opening bags with bottles and nipple cream that it started to sink in a little more. There are so many things that come with having a baby, like who knew you had to brush their gums or teeth? There are so many little things you are responsible for. It blows my mind that I am really about to be responsible for a whole other humans well-being. I read another blog though, that these feelings are normal towards the end so I feel better about my anxiety towards motherhood. It's just weird because I realized how much I still call my mom for things but here soon some one will be looking at me to fix all their problems. Motherhood is a learning process though. Babygirl and I will definietly do a lot of learning together in this lifetime. I know somedays will be harder than others but  I know in the end we will be okay. 

Overall, week 34 has been one of the best weeks so far. I cannot believe my baby will be here in what feels like any day now. She is still growing happily and strong. Unfortunately for me, as she has gotten bigger she is now sitting on my sciatic nerve making it nearly impossible to walk more than 10 steps some days. I haven't had any other complications throughout my pregnancy. I figured she had to give me a dose of something before she popped out. I know it will all be worth it and I won't think about my struggles to move when I finally lay my eyes on her. It's a bittersweet feeling to know my pregnancy is coming to an end. It has been a time of many first and many last. Despite all the shortcomings through my pregnancy, it has been such a beautiful experience. It really teaches you how you need to appreciate every moment because once it's gone, it's gone. As much as I want her to get here, I don't at the same time because I know she will only keep growing. Just a few months ago I was getting excited because her arms were almost fully developed. Extremely strange to think about. 

Anyways, Have an amazing week/weekend everyone. The count down is on. 

xoxo, 

Kaleb