I was told that the last few weeks of pregnancy slow down but I am experiencing the exact opposite. I am finding that these weeks are flying by. I am starting to get more and more anxious as my due date creeps closer.
This week I have realized that I still haven't wrapped my head around the fact that I am going to be a mother. I feel like if I could run away and hide right now, I would totally be MIA.
Don't get me wrong, I am excited to meet my daughter and for the journey of motherhood. In the same breath however, I am beginning to question how I am going to do this exactly. I think I am starting to realize that this is not going to be as easy as I once thought.
I have been very ambitious throughout my pregnancy. I have expressed time and time again how I will not let having a child in my early twenties stop me from accomplishing my goals. Over the last week, I have started to doubt myself and my ability to continue to move forward. I know that I want to travel and move out of Virginia but I wonder if that will really happen. It's all easier said than done and I'm beginning to realize that. I still do not believe that having a baby so soon will stop me but I know I need to come up with a game plan.
I have a bad habit of living in fairy tale land. I am a huge dreamer. Throughout my pregnancy I have been slapped hard in the face that life isn't always the way you dream it to be. Through all the growth that I have experienced, I realize that I am still quite naive. I'm not sure if I am saying this due to the fear that I am feeling knowing that my baby will be here basically any day now or if I really believe that. I am trying to remain positive about my ability to travel, finish school, and be a great mom. It has been proven to be quite difficult some days but again I know that I can't control this process and really have to surrender myself and my journey to the universe.
I have been trying to figure out the why behind my entire situation. I had been wrecking my brain thinking back on my relationship wondering where I went wrong, what I put into the universe to attract this situation, and just trying to put the pieces together. I am a huge believer in the law of attraction but I have learned over the last week that I did not understand it as well as I once thought. Yes, the law of attraction is a real thing and works. I have learned however that we only attract things that are equal to that level of consciousness at that moment. We attract things and situations that we feel that we are worthy of.
This last week I have also learned that negative or toxic people are necessary. We often see people talking about how they are cutting all the toxic persons out of their life but still do not prosper. That is simply because we need those negative people in order to learn lessons and continue to grow to reach our higher selves. It is your responsibility however, to not sit and dwell on what that negative person said or did to you. The more that you sit, dwell, and hate the more bad karma that you are bringing into your life. In order to continue to move forward you have to release that bad karma so that you don't continue to attract it.
We are all selfish beings. We like to think that our minds and actions are the only ones in the universe but that is far from true. Though law of attraction is a real thing we cannot control other people. The only thing we can control is ourselves. We shape our own perceptions. You have the ability to label something as good or bad. Eventually, you should want to reach a point on consciousness that things aren't considered good or bad but just as thoughts. That takes time though.
Again, I know that most people will not understand these concepts and will honestly think I am crazy. I do enjoy sharing my spiritual journey in these post simply because I feel like my pregnancy is what truly brought me to my spiritual enlightenment.
I have realized time really does heal all. This thought has helped me calm down and keep my head on straight when I start to feel panicky about being a mom. When I first started my blog, I never thought that I would make it to this point. I was crying myself to sleep every night, dreading getting up every morning and yearning for the day to be over so I could just go back to sleep. I just wanted it all to be over. I hated feeling and desperately begged for the pain to be all taken away. While the pain is still there and hurts some days more than others, I am feeling really great. Prior, I would sit back and think about how unenjoyable my pregnancy was but now when I think back all I can think about is the positive things that have happened. I reminisce about the first time I felt her kick. I remember feeling super excited when she started growing elbows and toes. I just love my little baby so much it brings tears to my eyes whenever I think about her. Good tears. I am anxious to meet her but I worry about her entering this vicious world. It scares me to know that I won't be able to protect her fully. This little girl has changed my life for the better and for that I simply owe her the world.
I am looking to expand my blog in the next week and I am super excited. I can't wait to share this content with you all as I truly enjoy creating it. Make sure you guys keep an eye out. One thing I want to do is answer questions that my readers/viewers have. With that being said, if you have any questions, concerns, or just things you would like me to elaborate on further send me a quick email at kalebmcafee@gmail.com.
I have a bad habit of living in fairy tale land. I am a huge dreamer. Throughout my pregnancy I have been slapped hard in the face that life isn't always the way you dream it to be. Through all the growth that I have experienced, I realize that I am still quite naive. I'm not sure if I am saying this due to the fear that I am feeling knowing that my baby will be here basically any day now or if I really believe that. I am trying to remain positive about my ability to travel, finish school, and be a great mom. It has been proven to be quite difficult some days but again I know that I can't control this process and really have to surrender myself and my journey to the universe.
I have been trying to figure out the why behind my entire situation. I had been wrecking my brain thinking back on my relationship wondering where I went wrong, what I put into the universe to attract this situation, and just trying to put the pieces together. I am a huge believer in the law of attraction but I have learned over the last week that I did not understand it as well as I once thought. Yes, the law of attraction is a real thing and works. I have learned however that we only attract things that are equal to that level of consciousness at that moment. We attract things and situations that we feel that we are worthy of.
This last week I have also learned that negative or toxic people are necessary. We often see people talking about how they are cutting all the toxic persons out of their life but still do not prosper. That is simply because we need those negative people in order to learn lessons and continue to grow to reach our higher selves. It is your responsibility however, to not sit and dwell on what that negative person said or did to you. The more that you sit, dwell, and hate the more bad karma that you are bringing into your life. In order to continue to move forward you have to release that bad karma so that you don't continue to attract it.
We are all selfish beings. We like to think that our minds and actions are the only ones in the universe but that is far from true. Though law of attraction is a real thing we cannot control other people. The only thing we can control is ourselves. We shape our own perceptions. You have the ability to label something as good or bad. Eventually, you should want to reach a point on consciousness that things aren't considered good or bad but just as thoughts. That takes time though.
Again, I know that most people will not understand these concepts and will honestly think I am crazy. I do enjoy sharing my spiritual journey in these post simply because I feel like my pregnancy is what truly brought me to my spiritual enlightenment.
I have realized time really does heal all. This thought has helped me calm down and keep my head on straight when I start to feel panicky about being a mom. When I first started my blog, I never thought that I would make it to this point. I was crying myself to sleep every night, dreading getting up every morning and yearning for the day to be over so I could just go back to sleep. I just wanted it all to be over. I hated feeling and desperately begged for the pain to be all taken away. While the pain is still there and hurts some days more than others, I am feeling really great. Prior, I would sit back and think about how unenjoyable my pregnancy was but now when I think back all I can think about is the positive things that have happened. I reminisce about the first time I felt her kick. I remember feeling super excited when she started growing elbows and toes. I just love my little baby so much it brings tears to my eyes whenever I think about her. Good tears. I am anxious to meet her but I worry about her entering this vicious world. It scares me to know that I won't be able to protect her fully. This little girl has changed my life for the better and for that I simply owe her the world.
I am looking to expand my blog in the next week and I am super excited. I can't wait to share this content with you all as I truly enjoy creating it. Make sure you guys keep an eye out. One thing I want to do is answer questions that my readers/viewers have. With that being said, if you have any questions, concerns, or just things you would like me to elaborate on further send me a quick email at kalebmcafee@gmail.com.
xoxo,
Kaleb
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