Dear G: 3 Months

Dear G,

IT HAS BEEN 3 MONTHS!!! I cannot believe it! I know I say that on almost every post but, I honestly cannot believe that it has been three whole months since you graced us with your presence!

It seems like it has been forever but simultaneously, I am trying to figure out where the time has gone. You bring so much joy to so many people. From family, friends, and even random people in Walmart you never fail to make others smile. There is so much love surrounding you and it makes me so happy.

It has been three months full of dirty diapers, laughs, tears (from both of us), sleepless nights, and tons of kisses. I think I am extremely baffled because around this time last year, I was in a completely different place. I never would have expected my life to be this way a year ago but I honestly wouldn’t trade it for the world. I was wondering how I was going to do this Mom thing but here we are 3 months later still breathing. You are healthy as ever and have tripled in size. It makes me so sad to look at how tiny you once were. Again, I am trying to figure out when you grew because I feel like it happened over night.

It is insane how much will change in a month’s time for a baby. This last month has been full of tiny milestones for you, G. You recently moved out of your bassinet. Your dangling toys catch and hold your attention now and you can even grab them. You went from coo-ing here and there to “talking” up a storm. During bath time, we talk about all the wonderful things that you did that day and you love it. This month has been full of photoshoots and crazy outfits. Except for now, you know when it’s photoshoot time and make such a sour face lol. I hope you grow out of the hating the camera phase. Anyways, you’ve gotten so good at tummy time. One of your favorite things to do is hang out right beside me. If you can’t see me or feel like you are alone, you freak. You LOVE to keep your hands in your mouth and are making such an effort to get your thumb in there. *palms forehead*

This last month has truly been amazing. I do feel bad for you sometimes though because you ended up with me as your Mom. I think I love you too much and I don’t think you can handle it lol. I’m also a tad extra and you get so frustrated because I do not ever leave you alone. I’m curious to how this will affect you in the future. I hope you are as extra as me but as the months go on, your little personality is truly starting to shine through. You are the sweetest little thing and you are funny as ever. You have a wide array of facial expressions and they are hilarious. Smiling is one of your strong suits; you even do it in your sleep.

While this month has been nothing short of phenomenal, it hasn’t been easy. Some days I have wondered how in the world we were going to make it to tomorrow. I have had numerous days when I have wanted to throw in the towel on breastfeeding and days I have just wanted to give up in general. We had made such progress on getting you on a schedule but that was short lived. The last week you have been fighting your sleep to the extreme. In turn, that leaves us both exhausted and frustrated. SMH!!

I am currently at the point where I am trying to make sure that both of us remain happy. I do not want to do anything that will hurt you or affect you negatively. However, I need to make sure I am happy too. Trying to figure out how to balance being a mother but also a 22-year-old has proven to be far from easy. I don’t want years to go by and me push off my dreams. That is not fair to you or me. You deserve to watch me accomplish my goals and set new ones. You need to know that anything is possible despite the obstacles that life throws at you. Ultimately, I must remain strong and keep pushing. My legs are starting to shake though and giving up seems like the easier option. Looking at you keeps me motivated. I know that you are watching, so every goal or everything that I say I must stick it out. How can I expect you to be super woman when I give up on everything?  Don’t worry though, I am going to figure it out. Honestly, if I am with you I don’t think I’ll ever be “unhappy” and I’ll always have a reason.

We are so blessed G. I sat and wondered how or why I got us into this situation. The more I think about it the more grateful I become. You have got to spend 3 months with family and building relationships with everyone. If I would have had you like a year or two from now, who knows if you would have ever gotten that chance. Like I said, you bring so much positivity that so many of us need.

As bittersweet as it is, I cannot wait to see the many more milestones that you will accomplish in the next few weeks. I have been hoping that maybe if I kiss you over a million times in a day, you’ll stop growing so fast, it hasn’t worked.

Happy 3 months Baby G! 3 months down with forever to go!

Mommy loves you!

xoxo