Dear G: 3 Months

Dear G,

IT HAS BEEN 3 MONTHS!!! I cannot believe it! I know I say that on almost every post but, I honestly cannot believe that it has been three whole months since you graced us with your presence!

15 things that make Moms happy

Mom'in is hard. You are sleep deprived, hungry, and feel miserable despite the bundle of joy you just brought home. People are “oooing” and “ahhing” over your precious baby and you cant stop melting every time you look at him/her either. No matter how cute your baby is though, the first few weeks/months are HARD. Those cute melting moments seem to last for merely seconds before you are wondering where you next cup of coffee is coming from. Even though we may feel like zombies, there are still some things that make us moms jump for joy besides our gorgeous nuggets. It’s the little things in life, right?

1. Naptime
2. Target
3. Being told/shown that we are appreciated
4. Coffee
5. Naptime
6. Peace and quiet
7. A nice warm cozy bed
8. When people offer to baby sit
9. Chocolate
10. Sleep aka naptime
11. A night or day out
12. Buying baby/kids clothes
13. Being able to fit into your pre-baby clothes
14. Baths
15. Did I forget to mention, naptime?

Being a mom is wonderful but I think we can all agree sleep is a necessity we all lack. However, it's all worth it when we see our kiddos smile.

Dear G: Week 9

Dear G,

It has been a little over 2 months since your birth. You have changed and grown so much since then. We went to the doctors the other day and you weighed almost 11 pounds! My heart broke a tad because you were once only 5. You prove every day to be my biggest blessing. I never knew I could love waking up to someone screaming for “food” every morning so much. Your dark curly hair seems to be growing thicker; thank goodness because we do not want any bald spots. Don’t worry, I’ll love you even if you do get them. Lol.

This past week has been insane. You are starting to “talk” more and more. Your little personality is really starting to show. I cannot get enough of your big gummy smile. You are going to be a big talker and the center of attention. You speak up and make sure your voice is heard if you feel like we aren’t giving you that much attention. We have discovered that you really like laying on your play yard and aren’t really a big fan of your swing. There is this one song that really gets you going when it comes on. I have tried to listen to see which lullaby it is but I can’t quite figure it out.

This last month flew by. I can hardly believe it. This is a time when I realize how badly I need to focus on the now and live in the moment. I have found myself dwelling on the past or stressing about the future. That lead to many weeks flying by and me not truly enjoying you. I have been  really hard on myself here lately. I ask myself why in the world did I do this to you? Was I selfish to bring you into this world when I knew the situation wouldn’t be “ideal.” I feel terrible to think that maybe one day you will feel like you are missing out. This is when I realize I need to focus on the now and take one step at a time. Just know as long as you have me, I will do my best to give you the world and more.

Life has been a little difficult for your Mommy lately. School is kicking my butt and people are just too much. However, you honestly make every bad day worth living. It’s like you know when I have a lot to do or am stressed out. You have your way of being sort of a difficult Nugget on those days but we make it through them. As frustrated as I may get when I accomplish everything and you fall asleep smiling in my arms, I feel at peace and laugh at the struggle. You being difficult on those days I believe is your way of showing me how strong I am and how I can accomplish anything despite the obstacles.

I really do not understand how people can see you growing so quickly and still not want to be a part of this experience. I ask you every day if you know how much I love you. I explain to you how it’s indescribable, you laugh. I could kiss you 100million times (I’m sure I have already) and it still would not be enough. I find myself just staring at you because I have never seen someone so perfect. You are as sweet as candy and I love candy. It baffles me how I truly created the most beautiful human.

Everyone says I am spoiling you. Your Granddad will walk by and see you laying on my chest and whisper “you are spoiling her.” Honestly, I do not care too much. I love cuddling you and girl you love to be cuddled. I have gotten better at putting you in your bed though. You sleep through the night for the most part these days. However, I do let you cuddle up next to me from 4am-10am, I figure that isn’t too bad. Lol. I may regret that decision in a few years when I cannot get you out of my bed but for now who cares. We both enjoy it so what does it matter.

I am not sure what the future holds for us baby girl. I look forward to all the trips and adventures we are going to take. Halloween is my favorite holiday, so I am excited to partake in spooky activities with you. You won’t remember them but I will and can’t wait to tell you about them.

You are my world. I didn’t think I’d ever be a sappy mom, much less a mom. BUT I talk about you non-stop. I haven’t stopped taking pictures of you since you were born. Your photo album collection will be insane.

To many more months with you G.

Mommy loves you.

Xoxo.

Typical Day

430AM

Grab screaming baby

Feed baby

30 Minutes later

Burp

Change Diaper 

She's still crying

630AM

Pump

Try to go back to sleep

Jk, she's up again

Plan out day

Dear G: Week 2

Dear G,

Today is August 12 aka your due date. I had been anticipating this day for the last nine months. I had it written in all my calendars and planners in big bright letters. Today was going to be the best day of my life. It’s crazy how things work out though. I’ve been able to hold you and kiss you for two weeks now. While today was supposed to be the start of our journey, I can’t say that I am mad you came a little early. These last two weeks have been the best two weeks of my life. Despite the exhaustion, mid-night frustrations, and poopy diapers seeing your gummy smile makes my days’ worth living.

Dear G: Week 1

Dear G,

It's been a little over a week since we officially got to meet. I would be 39 weeks pregnant with you today and that's sort of trippy to think about. I have been putting off this letter to you for months now. Every week, I would put "write letter to baby" on my to-do list but I would always put it off because I  wasn't quite sure what I wanted to say to you, how to say it, and I thought I had time. When I first felt my water break, I was kind of upset with you. I was freaking out because I felt like it was the worst timing ever. I quickly realized that you could not have picked a more perfect time to come. There was so much love surrounding your arrival. So many people put aside their differences and came together for you baby girl. It was a surreal feeling, it still is.

Week 37

Well......week 37 was quite the interesting one since it was abruptly ended since my daughter decided to grace us with her wonderful presence.

10 BABY NAMES I LOVE BUT WON'T BE USING

Week 36

Time is getting closer and closer. It's crazy because I remember vividly sitting at my desk in June planning out the last few weeks. Safe to say those weeks did not go as planned but I was so worried about them dragging on forever. Though plans changed, the weeks flew by. I am not sure if that is a good or bad thing.....I cannot believe I am this far along. I never thought I'd make it this far if we are being honest.

Story time: Finding out I was pregnant....

I have been really skeptical about posting this video but I figured it was finally time.....

In this video, I basically reflect back on life a few months ago. I talk about how I reacted and my feelings when first finding out I was pregnant. I talk about the struggles that I faced in the beginning. Though I am quite open in this video, I feel like there is so much that I left out. Being that I am still going through the motions, it hasn't been quite easy to put everything into words. I have recorded and re-recorded this video 1000x in the last few months and I am finally comfortable with how this one came out. I am speaking from my heart in this video, there is no script. Though things were/have been stressful and not the way I pictured, my daughter is the greatest gift that I have ever received. I never knew how much I needed her in my life. At the end of the day, I am human. I may not have said things in the perfect way but hopefully you all enjoy!

Week 35

I was told that the last few weeks of pregnancy slow down but I am experiencing the exact opposite. I  am finding that these weeks are flying by. I am starting to get more and more anxious as my due date creeps closer.

Week 34

CLICK HERE TO WATCH MY VLOG FROM MY BABY SHOWER

Week 34 was absolutely amazing. Literally, it was a dream and I am so sad that it is over.

Week 33

I got so wrapped up in my weekend, it completely slipped my mind to post my weekly blog! I was slightly frustrated about it but then I patted myself on the back for enjoying myself so much that "real life" slipped my mind.

Week 32

8 months pregnant.....wow. This week was a week spent trying to get my life back on track. I had developed a strategic schedule for my everyday life and different goals that I had set to accomplish throughout each day. The past two weeks, I allowed someone to have enough power over me to throw it all out the window. Dealing with "emotions" and trying to get back on schedule has proven to be quite difficult because all I wanted to do was lay in bed and sleep. Luckily, things are falling back into place and I'm slowly getting back to schedule.

Week 31

This week has been a week of many life lessons. The beginning of the past week, I felt like I was on top of the world; everything seemed so perfect and going phenomenally. That obviously was short lived well kind of.

Week 30

I'm sort of having to force myself to write this right now. I told myself earlier last week that I was going to take a break from blogging but that goes against everything that I promised myself not to do. I really am that person who will be so motivated to do something but if I don't see the results I dream of seeing right away, I lose the motivation. I'm not making a millions by blogging and my audience is still pretty small. That is a little discouraging to me, downfalls of my generation being used to instant gratification. I know that this line of business takes consistency, motivation, and patience. I also believe that my pregnancy is playing a role in this because I do not feel like doing ANYTHING at this point. The thought of having to do anything but lay around hurts my soul.

Week 29

I honestly cannot believe that I'm closing the door and leaving the twenties behind. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, though it is still a long way away. I'm starting to feel all kinds of emotions about bringing my baby into this world. Part of me is over being pregnant and just wants to get back to being myself but, I am also terrified/excited for the journey that lies ahead.

Week 28

Ashanti has been on repeat this week and whenever I listen to it, I just picture my Mom blaring the songs constantly singing at the top of her lungs. It is so weird how things that happen so long ago can remain so vivid in your thoughts.

Week 27

So, this past week was pretty mundane. My schedule pretty much consisted of going to work, going home, sleeping, and waking up to do it all over again. Don't get me wrong though, there were some great things that took place over the last week.

Week 26

So, I am late on getting this up and I am frustrated with myself because I know that consistency is key. I am not sure if people actually are reading these or even are interested but if you do/are, I apologize for my laziness. I promise to do better.