Week 28

Ashanti has been on repeat this week and whenever I listen to it, I just picture my Mom blaring the songs constantly singing at the top of her lungs. It is so weird how things that happen so long ago can remain so vivid in your thoughts.

I think that's one thing that parents fail to realize. Despite whether you planned to have a child or if they were a surprise, the way that you choose to parent them has an ever lasting effect on who/how they develop as a person. I have done a lot of reading thanks to my Psychology of an Exceptional Child and in numerous other classes I've been enrolled in here at ODU. In those courses, there has always been a topic on childhood development and how communication when you are younger has an everlasting effect on who you are and who you believe you are when you are older. 

I'm bringing this up because during my fabulous Memorial Day Weekend, I decided to treat myself to a day at the beach with a friend of mine. Little did we know that we were in for a show. This group of women and 2 young children decided to plop down right next to us shortly after we arrived. The women were not being abusive or anything to the children but the parenting skills that were expressed truly disturbed me. 

The little girl was at the beach, so of course she was lit. The first thing that caught me off guard was when her mother smacked the little girl in the face because she picked up a bug and thew it at her. Shortly after, the little girl had a water gun (which I'm pretty sure her mother had to buy with the intention of her playing with it at the beach considering they had it with them) and decided to run up and squirt her Grandmother with it. Her mother yanked her down by her arm so fast and smacked her hard as ever in her face and started yelling all sorts of things at her. Another women came up and joined in yelling things like she was ungrateful, didn't deserve to be at the beach, and she hated taking her anywhere. 

At this point, my mouth is completely wide open in shock and just wanted to go save the little girl and give her the biggest hug. I feel like spanking is one thing but you should NEVER EVER hit your child in their face. People fail to realize that children are people and human too. They have feelings. Hitting a child in their face is hitting them in their identity. If you are sitting there telling your child negative things about themselves, they are going to believe those things and even more negative things. 

I understand that their are TONS of different parenting styles. I know that when my baby gets here, people may look at me funny for the way I decide to parent her. Everyone always has their opinion. I know some of you may read this and think this is completely normal and okay. To each their own.

My goals for parenting my daughter:

• To allow her to be herself, accept it, and express it
• For her to be strong
• To know that she is beautiful inside and out
• To be an effective communicator 
• To know that she can do anything she sets her mind to
• To value herself and know her worth
• To respectful to herself and others

Those are just a few main goals that I want to instill into her. We live in a very cruel world. I feel like parents are the ones who need to uplift their kids and build them up. They are going to face many hardships in their lives and if they can't trust that their parents believe they are the best thing since slice bread, it's going to makes those hard times even more difficult. I understand children can be frustrating but learning how to express your frustrations in a positive way will only be beneficial to you and your child. 

Overall, my week was pretty uneventful as usual. I have recently gotten heavily into planners and have been building mine up. I hope that having an exquisite planner will help me make my weeks more eventful and productive. I am the most unorganized organized person you will ever meet. I kind of feel like my life in the last couple of months have been so unpredictable and out of control. That's why I am so into planning things out right now because it gives me a sense of having control and it's just fun to me. 

Despite the boring week I had, this weekend was pretty amazing. I managed to keep myself busy and really use my time wisely. I hung out with friends I haven't seen in ages, tried to tan even though it was a fail, and had my favorite ice cream. I'm finally at 7 months aka my third trimester and I am definitely feeling it. The baby and my cat refused to let me sleep this week. It's weird because they wake me up at the same time every day. I also all of a sudden feel huge and tired. Two weeks ago, I didn't even feel pregnant and still really felt like myself but that was extremely short lived. I'm nervous to see how much bigger my belly is going to get. I'm also nervous for when my waddle will truly set in. 

This week was really weird for me. I feel like my intuition has been speaking to me in numerous ways and think the universe is giving me a lot of signs about the future (it's to much to explain). I really feel like writing constantly provides me with a clearer head space and meditation has helped too. 

I just really want to say thank you to everyone who takes the time to read my blogs and have been supportive of me. I don't think you guys realize how much your simple comments mean the world to me and have really helped uplift me during the hardest time of my life. I know that my battle hasn't even begun yet but you guys are helping me prepare for it. I look forward to see what the future holds. 

I hope everyone has an amazing week.